Hear 23-year-old Mikayla’s testimony!
Finding God in My Doubt
For most of my life, I struggled with the question: Is God real?
I grew up in a Christian home. Sunday mornings were for church, bedtime was for prayers, and holidays were steeped in faith traditions. But as I got older, the stories and rituals that once felt comforting began to feel distant. I looked around at a world full of pain and suffering and wondered, If God is real, why does life feel so hard?
By the time I was in college, the doubts that once whispered in the back of my mind grew louder. Professors challenged faith in ways I hadn’t encountered before, and friends questioned the validity of the Bible. I wanted to believe in God, but I couldn’t shake the fear that I might just be clinging to something because it’s what I had always known.
One night during my junior year, I hit my breaking point. I had just gone through a painful breakup, I was failing one of my classes, and my anxiety felt suffocating. I remember sitting in my dorm room, staring at the ceiling, and saying out loud, God, if You’re real, show me. I don’t want to fake this anymore. I need to know.
It wasn’t a dramatic moment. There were no lightning bolts, no booming voice from heaven. But in that quiet desperation, something shifted.Over the next few weeks, I felt this strange, persistent nudge to pick up my Bible. I hadn’t touched it in months, but one night, I opened it to the book of John. I began to read about Jesus—His compassion for the broken, His patience with doubters, and His unwavering love for people like me.
I came across John 20:24-29, the story of Thomas, the disciple who doubted Jesus’ resurrection. I related so deeply to Thomas’s words: “Unless I see the nail marks in His hands… I will not believe.” But Jesus didn’t shame Thomas for his doubt. Instead, He invited him to touch His scars, to see the evidence of His love.
For the first time, I felt like my doubt wasn’t something that disqualified me from faith. Instead, it became the place where God wanted to meet me.
God Revealed Himself!
Slowly, God began to show me that He was real—not in the way I expected, but in ways I couldn’t deny.
I started to notice how He spoke through people. A friend invited me to a Bible study, where others shared their own struggles and questions. Their honesty about faith encouraged me to keep seeking.
He also spoke through circumstances. During a particularly hard week, I received a random text from a family member saying they were praying for me. Little moments like that reminded me I wasn’t alone.
And He spoke through creation. I started spending more time outside, marveling at sunsets and starry skies. I realized that the beauty and order in nature weren’t random—they pointed to a Creator.
Over time, my doubts began to fade. They didn’t disappear entirely—I still had questions—but I realized I didn’t need all the answers to trust God. Faith wasn’t about having everything figured out; it was about surrendering my need for control and letting God meet me in the unknown.
What I Know Now
Today, at 23, my life isn’t perfect. I still face challenges, but I face them differently. I know God is real because I’ve experienced His presence, His peace, and His love in ways that can’t be explained away.
Looking back, I see that God was always there, even when I doubted. He wasn’t afraid of my questions, and He didn’t walk away when I struggled to believe. Instead, He drew closer, showing me that He is a God who reveals Himself to those who seek Him.
If you’re struggling to believe, I want to encourage you: God can handle your doubts. Bring them to Him. Ask Him to show Himself to you. He may not answer in the way you expect, but He will answer.
And when He does, you’ll see that He’s been there all along—patiently waiting, lovingly guiding, and reminding you that you are never alone.